Change is constant but that doesn't mean it’s easy. I think during this time of year you can really feel the frictions of different energies reflected in ourselves as nature transitions from abundant expansion in summer to more quiet introspection of fall.
Dealing with change presents a challenge for many people. We can tend to be creatures of habit and find comfort in what is predictable. Moving gracefully through seasons of our own life can feel like a huge feat. Often the energy field and the body brace for and tense up in the wake of change. Think of what can happen in a car accident. It has been said when people stiffened up and brace for impact in a crash they often sustain more injuries in contrast to those whose body is not as rigid upon impact.
Citrine is an excellent gemstone to consider when you are facing changes in life. Citrine helps us adapt to change by promoting our ability to let go of all that does not serve us. If we can let go of all that is old and irrelevant than we can better embrace what lies ahead. Its energy also has an unwinding quality that can help us relax into life’s twists and turns with more fluidity instead of rigidly bracing in anticipation.
CITRINE RELAXATION MEDITATION
Coming into a meditative state, contemplate then energy of Citrine. Imagine Citrine’s bright sunshine yellow light of entering into the body and accumulating at the solar plexus. Visualizing this light extending up toward the head and down toward the feet in a column of yellow light. Imagine being able to see strands of light emanating off the central column, giving particular attention to strands that are twisted, tangled or taut. With the breath, visualize an unwinding of these energies. Stay attentive to sensations in the body, this may highlight areas of pain or tension. Observe any passing thoughts of people or situations in your life to this time connected to these tangled energies. Allow your breath to help you soften your mind, energy and body.
When is the right time to talk to your child about what to do if they get molested?Written by Sandra Cooze
Raising children is an incredible journey. We see them strive and grow into amazing human beings. We want to nurture them, encourage them to explore the world and at the same time protect them from any and every harm there is. If we could, we would shelter them from all the bad in the world for their entire lives. Yet, we all know that this is not possible. As much as we try not to think about all those ‘what ifs’, they keep creeping back into our minds the moment our child leaves the home to go to a friend, school, the mall, the movies, or to a party.
There are dangers that we simply can’t protect our children from, no matter how hard we try. Some of these dangers are so horrific, the mere thought of them makes us sick to our stomach. We would rather lock these terrifying thoughts away than really sit down and think about ‘what if’ …….
Let me ask you something: If your son or daughter came to you today and told you that they had been touched and stroked by someone in places that made them feel uncomfortable, would you know what to do? Would you know how to handle the situation? What would your first thought be? Would it be denial? Would the thought of your child telling you a lie cross your mind? What if it was a close friend or family member who did this to your child? How would you react?
Protecting our sons and daughters from a child molester is unfortunately almost impossible. Rarely do we know when we are approached by one. But what if, instead of hoping and wishing that it would never happen, and pushing that terrifying thought back into the depth of our mind, we chose to sit down with our children and talked to them about this very subject. Knowledge is power, we all know that and the more we know about something, the better we are equipped to deal with it.
There are parents, of course, who do educate their children about the possibility of sexual abuse. Most of these parents had to experience such a scenario for themselves and want their kids to be prepared for the eventuality that hopefully will never come to pass.
However, most parents will never address this subject with their children. One of the major reasons is quite simply denial. Denial that this could ever happen to their child. But also not wanting to just so much as think about their child in such a horrific situation. Or hoping and wishing that their child would scream from the top of their lungs if anyone even so much as tried to touch them. Or simply not wanting to face the fact that it could happen any day and at any age.
When I was 12 years old, I went to a stable in a neighboring town to take care of a pony. I loved horses and I loved being outdoors. So of course I was very happy to have this opportunity. There was an older man (maybe in his 60s) who took care of the stables and the horses. He showed me the ropes on how to saddle a horse and how to brush him, scrape his hooves and of course, how not to get bitten or kicked while doing that.
As much as I enjoyed taking care of that pony, I was in love with the big horses, so when the stable master one day asked if I wanted to ride on his horse to get a feel for being on a big one I was more than willing to go. So I was sitting on this beautiful golden brown animal and he held the reins and walked beside us.
It was a beautiful and warm summer’s day. The air smelled like dust, flowers, grass and horse. We walked along fenced meadows and a couple of fields until we came to a shed. He said he just had to go inside to get something and he wanted to give his horse a rest since it was such a warm day. He helped me down and we went inside.
I don’t remember much about the interior of the shed, but what I do remember was that there was a bed with a dusty, rough blanket in one corner. I remember that part so vividly because that was where he asked me to sit down. He molested me that day.
I did not understand why he began to stroke my breasts or tried to touch me between my legs. I had no idea what sexuality meant. I had been too young for the ‘sex-talk’ and I had not yet been interested in boys. I just knew that it felt wrong.
When I came home from the stables that day, I did not know what to do. I did not know if I should tell anyone. I felt strange. I was worried that my parents would be angry or disappointed in me. I could not make sense of what had happened. Luckily, I told a friend who came by that day and he insisted that I tell my parents. He even went with me to my mom.
When I told her, she first just stared at me. Then she said: ‘Don’t go there anymore!’ that was the only time she ever spoke about what had happened to me. She was not prepared for what I had told her. I believe today that she had hoped I would forget about it all if she did not mention it again. Of course I did not forget and it haunted me for many years until I found my way into spirituality and with that learned how to let go of the emotional trauma.
For the longest time, I was angry with my mother because I believed that she had failed me. Yet, now that I am a mother I have been asking myself what I would do, if my son came home with such horrific news.
My son is 5 years old and last year my husband and I started to read a wonderful book with him. It is called ‘This is MY Body!’ By Pattie Fitzgerald. It is designed for young children to learn about their bodies and about the right and wrong ways of a touch.
It is never too early to start talking to your kids about the importance of protecting themselves from child molesters. It is important that they know that it is safe to tell you and most of all, that you will be their rock, their sanctuary, should this ever happen.
I hope my article will encourage parents to begin a dialogue with their children about this very important subject of sexual abuse.
Love & Light,
Anatomy of a calling? What does THAT mean?
In my last post, “Your Body’s Saying, ‘Be YOU’. But, Who Am I?”, I shared my journey from living with inexplicable “symptoms” to resolving them by living my Purpose. At first I didn’t recognize that my challenges were friends guiding me to the fulfilling life I desired. I feared they would become so great that I couldn’t work any longer. But, when I recognized them as guides, and heeded them, THEIR Purpose was served, and they resolved.
You have a calling, a Purpose, built within you, physically and energetically. It’s waiting to fully manifest when you recognize and align with it, and it’s letting you know when you don’t.
Because I was programmed to believe that “callings” and “purposes” were something reserved for certain “other” people, I lived in “the box”. I followed a very typical path going to college and getting a corporate job that helped me learn, stretch, and grow (all important goals for me). Until it stretched me to my limits….the walls of “the box”, which created symptoms.
You see, I was denying that something missing. I was ignoring those whispers of my Soul that I could make a difference in the lives of others and it would feel great to do that. Understandably I “ignored” them because of my programming, and, well, they weren’t loud enough. At first. Life was good. I was happy. I thought.
So, what happened?
I experienced my anatomy in a new way.
I was attempting to eliminate my symptoms, as so many try to do. But, what I didn’t realize was that my nervous system was actually doing the very amazing job nervous systems are meant to do. Our nervous systems constantly monitor our “experiences” in every sense of the word (including what we take into our bodies in every way), and verify that our “experiences” are right for us. When something is “off”, they let us know. We feel fatigued, restless, dissatisfied, irritable, etc. Our immune systems respond. Indigestion appears. Our hearts beat rapidly. Our breathing changes. We tense up. We experience headaches and pain. It’s difficult to sleep. I.e…. we’re stressed. And our nervous systems order adjustments.
But, even more importantly, I didn’t realize that my beliefs influenced the response of my nervous system tremendously. This wasn’t just about food, drink, air, toxins, etc. It was also about choices, activities, hobbies, vocation….. my experience, literally. It was about how I was meeting the world, and what I was thinking about it…. or wasn’t… based upon my beliefs.
What did I learn?
Our different experiences, knowledge, preferences, dislikes, skills, talents, physical characteristics, etc., are all an integral part of our design to live our YOU-nique Purpose. Our Purpose may have elements of a grand calling to serve a higher power, or extraordinary skills or talents to share. Leaving corporate life to become entrepreneurs or fulfill philanthropic endeavors may be what we’re called to do. We may be meant to live simple lives just being our best selves. Regardless, when we live out of alignment with our Purpose, our nervous systems recognize that dissonance, and stress results. It’s our anatomy. In essence, our Purpose has an anatomy.
My belief that I wasn’t one of “those” people kept me from remotely considering that, I too, had a calling or Purpose. And, I didn’t realize I was being guided in the direction of discovering mine, as my “symptoms” worsened, I began to feel more out of place in my job, and my job was eliminated due to corporate changes. Out of work, and feeling worse, I chose to finally listen. Now, I’m self-employed and loving it.
The Power of Intentional Alignment
When I recognized the “anatomy of my Purpose”, and aligned with it intentionally, my life got even better. In my case, my Purpose manifested elements of being called to make a difference in the world. Doing that meant leaving the corporate world, becoming an entrepreneur, following my heart, and TRUSTING.
I’m always work in progress. My life and business are evolving to their next incarnation. I’m committed to living my Purpose: living aligned with my Soul’s intentions for this lifetime. And, I feel great. I trust the anatomy of my Purpose to guide me each step of the way. That IS my number one priority, and is THE way I stay healthy.
What’s calling you?
I see your Light! I see your Greatness!
Love and Peace,
Kelly Myszkowski, BCTMB, LMT, BCST, CTC, CGI, CCMP
Inner Wisdom Coach and Synch With Your Soul Guide
Helping you find peace, well-being, and Purpose by learning to listen to you Inner Wisdom. With a surprising sense of sarcastic humor, she provides a personalized boutique experience for a select few clients, develops and facilitates wellness workshops, and loves inspiring others to optimal health and well being as a speaker. She’s been a featured guest on I Am A Success Story Blogtalk Radio, keynote speaker for I Am A Success Story’s Annual Women’s Wellness Conference, and a contributing author for Luminous Wisdom: Sophia, and Sacandaga Digest.
When not actively engaged in wellness activities, or enjoying restorative solitude, you may find her spending quality time with family, friends, and 4-leggeds, or helping on the family farm in NY State. You may even spot her relaxing on her favorite St. Lawrence River.
Want to learn more, get helpful resources, and/or apply for a complimentary Discovery Session (Transformational Coaching is done by phone)? Visit her now at www.letyourinnerlightshine.com.
Emotional trauma is invisible. It is silent. And for people who have never been confronted by it, almost impossible to understand. Many people who are close to those who have experienced abuse often feel helpless because they don’t know how to help their loved ones through these trying times. More often than not, this results in the victims feeling abandoned or unsupported.
I, too, am a victim of emotional trauma. I was molested when I was 12 years old. And raped at the age of 22. These were only the two most severe incidents. It seemed as if I was a magnet for sexual assault. At some point I could not take it anymore and withdrew from life.
So many people carry their emotional burden around with them their whole lives. After many years of living with this pain, it becomes a part of who they are. What most people don’t realize is that they keep themselves hostage. Yes, we had to experience this abuse when it happened, but we don’t have to punish ourselves over and over for it. It was not our fault and we are allowed to let it go!
Just recently I have been musing about why I still feel like a twenty-something year old woman. And then I suddenly realized that when I was 22, my life ended. That was the time I stopped living. Then one day it hit me that for 20+ years I kept this young woman - who wants nothing more than to burst into dance and enjoy life - hostage within my heart because I was afraid that if I let her out, everything would just start all over again.
Healing from emotional trauma is possible. We just need to find the right approach for us. So many times I have heard from friends and clients the same words: “After years of counseling, my therapist suddenly said that he couldn’t help me and terminated the sessions.” For many people this can be devastating because modern medicine tells us that counseling is the best approach for healing emotional trauma. But this is not necessarily true.
On my quest for healing, I found peace in spirituality. It was a feeling as if I had come home after a long journey. I studied Reiki and learned how to use crystals for their energy. And slowly I started down the road to emotional recovery. As a Reiki Practitioner I have learned that emotional trauma is an energy blockage. This blockage is a direct result of the emotional pain we keep buried in the depth of our hearts. But once we are ready to let go of that emotional trauma, we can remove these blockages and begin to heal.
Our mind is a complex being and our heart is just the same. Once we decide that simply dealing with our emotional pain is not enough anymore, we are ready to begin our journey back to ourselves.
Love and Light, Sandra
Find this post and more HERE!
My spiritual journey began in 2003 and, believe it or not, my horse was the catalyst for my spiritual awakening and for discovering my purpose.
He was my dream horse – a beautiful Andalusian (Spanish Horse) who was a lovely dapple grey when I bought him and who turned into pure white as he got older.
Unfortunately, the impact he had on my life was due to him having an emotional breakdown, so he wasn’t in command of his emotions at all! He was definitely the bringer of spiritual lessons and a great teacher though.
“The White Horse is the teacher of spiritual progress. It represents an avatar or master of knowledge and faith. They are adept in the fields of intellectualism and reason. They have command of their emotions, manifest unblemished justness. They signify the coming of spiritual lesson or teacher into your life.” From http://balancedwomensblog.com/white-horse-animal-spirit-guide/
He was only 4 years old when he was delivered to me – a divine gift as I’ll explain. I was living in a lovely 5-bedroom cottage on 3 acres of land in a small village in central England. I already had my horse and a pony for my daughters and they grazed on our land and were stabled at the boarding stable (or livery yard, as we say in England) across the lane from our house.
It was Easter weekend 2003 and I had a few days off from my corporate job as an IT Project Manager. I was looking through the ‘horses for sale’ ads in the latest edition of Horse and Hound magazine. For some time, I had had the desire to own an Andalusian horse, although I can’t remember why, other than they are like a larger version of Arabian horses which I had loved since being a child.
As I was scanning the ‘for sale’ ads, I came across an ad for an Andalusian with a local area code. I called the number immediately, thinking I’d go and see some horses during my time off. A lady answered and after a few minutes I said “Is that you, Jo”. The answer was “Yes” – it was the owner of the stables across the road! The Andalusian for sale turned out to be the horse stabled across from my horses’ stables who used to look across at me when I was mucking out.
I arranged to go over and ride him that afternoon and it was love at first ride. Within a few days he was mine. My dream had come true. His name was Mill de Voto - Voto for short.
Within less than a year, my dream had turned into a nightmare. My horse had become a nervous wreck. It was like riding an unexploded bomb about to go off. When he was stressed he would rear or feel like he was going to explode into bucking or bolting. I had always been a confident rider, but I was about to lose my nerve.
In desperation, I reached out to several horse whisperers and eventually contacted Mark Hudson who was a horse whisperer who trained in the USA with Buck Brannaman, a natural horsemanship expert. He worked for Redwings Horse Sanctuary in East Anglia – their philosophy was if we can help horse owners with their problem horses they won’t end up in rescue centers or worse, on a meat wagon.
Mark and his assistant spent a day with us, working Voto on the ground to assess him. I knew we had problems when his assistant mounted Voto and then immediately dismounted saying she wouldn’t ride him. By the end of the day Mark declared that Voto was so dangerous he could kill me, kill himself or kill both of us. I knew I had a problem but hadn’t realized it was so bad!
My options: sell him (not possible), have him put down (which I could NOT do) or rehabilitate him. I couldn’t let my dream boy die at such a young age, especially as he was not aggressive, he was just in a state of extreme fear when he was being ridden. Otherwise, he was a lovely affectionate boy, so my response was immediate – I’ll rehabilitate him.
Mark’s instructions were to work him on the ground every day without fail, doing exercises to build his self-confidence. I had to start from scratch with his training.
At the time, this was a disaster and my worst nightmare. I was leading a multi-million-pound supply chain project at the UK’s largest catalog retailer and commuting an hour and a half each way to work.
However, my horse was too dear to me to consider the alternatives.
When I’m faced with a problem my approach is to learn everything I can so that I can come up with a solution. So, I immersed myself in books on natural horsemanship, equine behavior and psychology which taught me so much about the nature of the horse as a prey animal. I learned about fear and the consequences of fear. I learned about energy and how I had to control my energy and not mirror his fear, which otherwise would have been catastrophic. I also developed an unbreakable bond with him, through all the challenging times we had together.
He taught me about manifestation – how to stay in the present moment, focus on my desired outcome, and visualize what I wanted to achieve.
As if that wasn’t enough of a transformation for me, I was led to what turned out to be THE book that started me on my spiritual journey – The Tao of Equus: A Woman's Journey of Healing & Transformation through the Way of the Horse.
It’s a wonderful story about Linda Kohanov’s experience with her black mare Rasa but the pivotal part for me was when she wrote about reincarnation. After reading it I had an irresistible desire to explore the subject of reincarnation and so my spiritual journey started. From there I discovered spiritual laws, the Law of Attraction and the necessity to clear limiting beliefs, self-doubt, fear and the importance of discovering your life purpose and soul mission.
Voto was my evolutionary catalyst. He led me to discover my purpose and taught me many of the skills I needed to fulfill it. Unfortunately, he is no longer on this physical plane – he had to be put to sleep in 2013 due to colic and peritonitis, but it was his way of being with me in spirit.
Our bond will never be broken and he will be with me for eternity.
So thanks to Voto, I now have a business focused on mindset – helping my clients clearing limiting beliefs, doubts and fears, teaching mindful manifestation, raising consciousness and providing practical skills, tools and strategies to help them create unstoppable success from the inside out.
Hi, I'm Helen.
Resistance is futile! It took me a while to get that message... Have you realised it yet, or are you still seeking your purpose, that "missing" piece, that "right" path?
You may think you haven't found your true path, but the truth is you do know it, you're just resisting it on some level. Perhaps the biggest clues lie in your early life?
Here is a snapshot of the clues in my early life:
I resisted my purpose, almost from the moment I took my first breath, but that didn't stop the Universe setting me on my path right from the beginning.
Just after I gave up trying to avoid coming into this world (it took 3 days for my mother to give birth to me...), an older, African man turned up at our rambling, single story house on a southern African rural sugar estate, the flame tree acting like a beacon, as, in full bloom, it lived up to it's name. Even though the air was heavy with humidity and the dust was swirling around on the dirt driveway in typical African flurries before a storm, he was somehow, untouched by it all, clean and well presented.
He told my mother he'd heard she was looking for help in the house. He was polite and spoke very good English, plus no one else had come asking about the job, so after a brief interview she employed him to run the house for us. He remained with us, running our house like a benevolent sergeant major, until he had to leave because his house had burned down - that was sometime around my sixth birthday. He was the main person who'd taken care of me - while most mothers around us stayed home with their kids, my mother had started up a school for the local kids so we didn't have to go to boarding school so young anymore.
When I was born I had some "issues" with my feet and legs that the doctors weren't sure would be temporary or permanent. Ben - that was his name - was the one who massaged my legs and feet everyday so I was happily walking by the time I was 9 months old; he was one the one who smeared blue ointment over my hand and arm after I stuck a fork in a socket and was shocked by the blue flames that shot out. (Yes, being an explorer started young!)
We didn't know why the local Africans all fell into line around him until he left. It turns out he was a sangoma, a good witchdoctor or healer. They considered him gifted with magic! Perhaps he was, as later it become evident that he had protected me in our time together, not just from physical ailments but also from unpleasant psychic experiences.
From the time he left I experienced numerous things that kept pointing me down my path, from the subtle blue glowing shield that protected me from a psychic attack not long after Ben left, to profound messages that came into me like a cold bucket of water poured over my head, to the strangers who'd appear and give me the same message, if differently worded, over and over again to the consistent and repetitive themes in my life.
I didn't like it. I resisted it all. It didn't seem like a good path at all... it wasn't a path my family or those around me would value in any way, or so I believed.
So instead I followed a sensible path, the kind of path that my parents, my peers and my teachers praised me for from my early schooling all the way up the corporate ladder. At six, I'd received a message that I was only meant to grow up in Africa but that I needed to move to London, England as soon as I was adult. I resisted this too, but events conspired so that in the end moving seemed the right choice, so I did.
Once in London I climbed the corporate ladder (Canon/ MGM/ Virgin), because that was the sensible thing to do, but I felt no joy in it, no matter how often I got promoted.
But what else was I going to do?
The Universe sorted that one out for me again too. (Resistance really is futile!) I got ill and couldn't work for a while. In that time, I began my first business and initially it was like a duck who'd found water at last...
Again, I got a message that I needed to learn how to run a business so I could follow my true path but that the business at the time wasn't "it". Well, it was as far as I was concerned and I wasn't listening to any "messages", I was going to do what I wanted to do.
I managed to drag that one out pretty long, earning very good money, getting married in Hawaii, having two kids and, with my family, living in a gorgeous apartment in Kensington (very aspirational for many!), but I knew it wasn't fulfilling me. I just wasn't sure what else to do instead, plus I was reluctant to give up the money I was earning (funny how I assumed I'd have to do that!)
So the seed of discontent was planted when a close family friend my age died leaving two little kids behind. It was a real shock and I didn't know how to make sense of it, so I decided that in honour of Melanie, I'd stop resisting my purpose and go find it.
The act of seeking it was a form of resistance, but I didn't realise that then. We are all already on our true paths, and will be guided when it's time to make changes, if we listen to our inner voices, to the clues in our feelings. It's when we ignore those inner callings that we are resisting our true purpose.
My journey since then has been to learn to listen, to act on the next step put in front of me and to surrender to the path ahead. It's like being the water flowing in a river. I flow in a way that feels true to my nature, being pulled down the mountain by gravity but simply focusing on where to flow next, right now, and not worrying about how I'm going to get to the sea.
This process is how we finally did what I'd wanted to do for 25 years, we moved out of central London into a lovely home where we're all much happier and laugh so much everyday.
I now have a business where I've been on national television a few times, and I get to be the bridge between the metaphysical and real world, putting Soul into everyday life and business, helping my clients express their purposes through successful conscious businesses that allow them to earn a good living doing meaningful work they love.
One of the tools I was lead to introduce to the UK, was scientific hand and fingerprint analysis, the most accurate and only objective personal profiling tool I've discovered, and where your Soul left you your purpose plan!
Being a hidden rebel, appearing to go along with things, but secretly doing things my own way, I now realise that even that was part of my path, because how could I help you overcome your own resistance to your true path if I didn't know all about it?
So what clues have you been ignoring? What are consistent themes in your life? What is our inner voice telling you that you keep resisting?
As a Conscious Business Mentor, Soul Purpose Navigator & Re-Alignment Catalyst I help conscious small business owners get on the right path for them, harness the value of their unique brilliance and standout with authenticity and attract the clients they're meant to work with, earning an abundant living doing meaningful work.
You can find out more about me here: Hands-on-Business and if you feel ready to get re-aligned and engage more fully with your true path, book in a call with me here.
Enjoy life and business stories from our community of holistic and spiritual entrepreneurs, regarding wellness and well-being for mind, body, spirit and soul!
Thank you for stopping by! I am Heather Mattioni; Holistic Design Specialist for Life & Business. As a holistic professional and graphic designer, I am pleased to share with you my latest journey, Sass.Spirit.Soul. In The Raw! Please enjoy the articles from our EXPERT CONTRIBUTORS today! Much Love!
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